Marriage

I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm takin the plunge. Actually I think I'm ready. I'm ready not to live in an apartment anymore, pay rent, listen to my neighbors walk on my ceiling, listen to myself trying to be quiet so as not disturb the neighbors. I'm ready to be loud. I'm ready to make as much noise as I want to--I think I've earned that.

New Year's is overrated. I'm looking forward to spending the night inside, by the fire, drinking a couple of beers and holding my baby. I don't need to leave the house. I got enough of that for the past 15 years or so. And all I've got to show for it is a lot of foggy memories and bad headaches. I can't wait to sit in front of the TV and make all my memories there...are they going to cart out Dick Clark this year?

Booger Time

'Tis the season. The season where the snot flows freely and the boogers are plentiful. Free flu shots were available in my building this week. I had to decline. If I'm going to get sick, I'd like to do it on my own. No help from the hyperdermic needed.

It's this time of year that I get all teary-eyed and remember what I was doing this time last year: whipping other's asses in my fantasy football league. Sadly, the league was disbanded, the manager left for the sub-Canadian wasteland; I don't see the old gang that much anymore. I don't know if I would be much up for it anymore, anyhow. My girlfriend has softened me. She doesn't like me talking about asswater and dropping turds. She likes for me to talk about picket fences and diamond rings. Ahh....but if only I one more day in that glorious league...someday...

Phil Heimlich

I'm glad to see that David Pepper beat Phil Heimlich. I don't know if it will do anything for the greater good of humanity or raise Cincinnati up to the level of one of those hip, up-and-coming cities like Portland or Austin or wherever, but I'm not shedding tears that we won't have Heim to kick around anymore. Maybe he can go find someone who's choking and offer to expel the chicken-wing from their throat. Maybe he can go help the KKK straighten their cross on Fountain Square--assuming the construction's over by then. I don't know about you, but he always seemed a little crooked. One of my friends once referred to him as a Nazi. That's not really fair. I prefer just to think of him as a schmuck.

Nap Time

I'm starting to think that those Japanese businessmen who spend their lunch at morgue-like sleeping facilities are onto something. I could go for a nap on a chaise lounge right now. Lunch should be invigorating. Is there anything more invigorating than a nap? Maybe a massage and then a nap. A lunch-time massage followed by some gentle music to drift off to...

I'm really enjoying the recent political campaigns. Steve Chabot, Bob Cranley, David Pepper, Phil Heimlich--God bless you all. Your willingness to saturate the airwaves with sleaze has brought about a renaissance in local t.v. commercials that was much needed. I'm now doing the two minute trip to the bathroom during the shows rather than the breaks so I don't miss what's coming next.

On Dylan

I had a chance to listen to Bob Dylan's new album the other day, "Modern Times." There's nothing new going on here--the album is excellent, probably a little better than "Love and Theft" simply because it works better as an album. I wouldn't be suprised to see it win a Grammy or at least get nominated. Dylan plays in a variety of styles from Western Swing to Country to straight-ahead Blues. He pulls these styles off with aplomb. He's comfortable and confident. But there's nothing new going on here. And there hasn't been anything new going on with Bob Dylan for about 40 years. He is the father of confessional song-writing, the long song, folk-rock, etc., etc. But now that most of his influence has been swallowed up by the rock establishment, listeners no longer pick up his albums expecting revolutionary music--they come to listen because they like his music, his voice, his style. If you aren't into those facets of the artist, you're not going to find much to like here. The groundbreaking stuff ended a long time ago.

Riverfront

When I watched the blue and yellow tents go up in between the Freedom Center and Great American Ballpark for Cirque du Soleil, it got me thinking: why don't we scrap the whole "Banks" idea and just have a carnival in that space during the summer? This would also buy more time for the politicians and developers to decide what they really want to do with this space. Right now, it seems like it's destined to be a parking lot. And that really is a shame. Personally, I think they’re afraid to put anything there because they're afraid that if they put together something temporary, it will probably become permanent. And they've got a huge hole west of Fountain Square that serves as a testament to that sort of thinking.

Comair

The end looks to be near now. This morning's Enquirer lays it out there pretty well, I think. Since I don't work there any more and don't have to be supportive for morale, I'd like to say that the flight attendants are selfish jerks who have an inflated opinion of themselves and their role in the larger scheme of the company. The fact that they won't accept a pay cut when everyone else in the company has is asinine. They are getting paid higher than the industry standard, the company is bankrupt, and they are complaining that their salary will be affected. I'm sure it's tough being out there on the frontlines everyday, but so is working for a company that is losing money. Generally speaking, if you want to stay with someone who is broke, be prepared to lose a little money. It's pretty much game-over now anyway, but I needed to get that off my chest.

Steve Stewart

I'm sad to see Steve Stewart leave the Reds radio booth. I knew with Marty's ego, he wouldn't have a chance--I saw that one coming three years ago. But I'm still sad. It was nice to hear someone just call the game right. Between Joe's beer belch's and forgetfulness, and Marty's tired phrases--how many times a game do you need to say "somewhat belatedly"?--it's become somewhat annoying to listen to the Reds on radio. I was actually happy when I tuned in and Stewart was calling the game. I felt like I was listening to the Reds, the game. Now it looks like there will be an analyst--formerly known as the color guy, an ex-jock. God knows who that's going to be. If it's Tracy Jones, I might stop listening to the games all-together.

Bengals season's only a few weeks away.

Downtown

Working downtown again for the first time in several years has opened my eyes to a few things: it is expensive, there aren't as many food options as you would think, drugstores smell like bathrooms, and there is a lot of egregious horn-blowing. Beside all that, it's highly addictive. Having been stuck in corporate park world for the last 9 years, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed just walking around. The city smells bad, but in an cute, "I just farted," sort of way. My sinuses are probably paying the price for all of this, but I have to say, it's better than smelling jet fuel and driving 5 miles to lunch every day.

Is it just me or does the plan for Fountain Square look like the old Fountain Square? I don't know why the change was needed. Seems like they're just adding more trees. Woo-hoo.

Is it just me or is Chip Away the best undiscovered game on Mega-touch

Have you played this game? It's like a cross between plinko and tetris. I love it. My friend Dave turned me onto it the other day and I've got to say, it's starting to replace Card Bandits as my favorite game.

I listened to a few cuts from Joey Ramone's solo album the other day. This may be one of the great undiscovered gems of the last five years. Can you beat hearing him do "What a Wonderful World?" At warp speed? Lovin' it.